Zombie Date

Quite some time age, like years ago,  I had a discussion with some friends about the topic of a Zombie Date. I got some mixed answers about what people would do.

I’ve been playing The Last of Us and last night I had a dream that I was in an decrepit building, fighting the infected. At one point I was trapped somewhere by a runner and a guy that throws molotov cocktails. For some reason the human and infected guy were working together. After what seemed like half an hour in dream time of being trapped I said SCREW THIS and ran towards them, snapping both of their necks.

I woke up and began thinking how often I have dreams to do with zombies and that this dream was a bit different for once. I started thinking more about zombies and then I remembered the discussions I’d had about a zombie date.

So now, in the interest of science I pose the zombie date question to you. It requires a bit of a setup, so here we go.

You have been getting to know someone that you have a crush on. For the past few weeks you are talking more and more and getting more comfortable with each other. Halloween is approaching and your friend Shaun is having a big costume party at his house. Everyone is invited. You get the courage to ask your crush if they would like to go with you. Your crush says “Hell yeah! Oh, and I want to do more than just go together, if you know what I mean.” Yep, you sure know what they mean. It is agreed upon that you will meet at the party in your desired costumes. You will be going as a werewolf. Your crush said they will be there as a zombie as they totally love zombies and everything about them.

You get to the party and as you walk in Shaun winks at you and says “[insert crush’s name here] is upstairs. I think they are waiting for you.” Quickly, you race upstairs and you find them in the bedroom in full zombie attire. You say some kind of greeting but get no response. You approach them slowly and say it again. All you get back is a few groans. Next they start to swipe at you clumsily and they lose their balance and fall on the bed. You try to say a few more things but get no more a response than before.


Hey, I don’t know what you’re into, but society might consider these zombies to be sexy.

Now… The question I pose to you is this. Keep in mind it has been fully made aware to you before the party, that your crush wants to get it on with you. You know they love zombies so they might be role playing. The thing is, they might not be. The Zombie Apocalypse could have started this very night. Assuming that the zombie infection works in the same way as an STD does and the kids these days are careless with protection, do you take the risk of gettin’ jiggy wit it?

You could have wild ‘zombie’ sex or you could end up having infectious zombie sex. What would you do?

And don’t bother bringing morals into this. None of that “Oh, I would never have sex before marriage” or “I always use protection” bullcrap. This is hypothetical people!

So that’s what my dream made me think of this morning. I’m not saying my zombie dreams are about zombie sex… What do you think I am? Some kind of freak?

After thought

So I went to Google and searched ‘Sexy Zombie’ for some images to put in this post. I wanted to put a pic of a girl zombie and a pic of a guy zombie. Yeah… Sexy zombies are hard to find. Maybe it’s just me.

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