This is what stopped me playing games today

Yesterday there was a bird in my backyard. It was a dove. Not one of the cool white doves that magicians pull out of hats, but one of these things.

Spotted Dove_0

It was limping and didn’t seem to be able to fly. We left it alone.

This morning it was still there and I was tasked with removing it. I was told to take it to Express Wildlife Rescue. I figured this would be no issue at all. Then I looked the place up. It is just someone’s house. I had already committed into taking it there and the woman who runs it was told I would be coming. This meant I couldn’t pretend to have taken it there, while actually dumping it elsewhere.

The only thing I could think was “Please don’t let this person be a fucking weirdo.”

I got the cat carrier and went to put the bird in it for easy transportation. It sat there looking at me as I stood over it with a towel. It’s beady little black eyes pierced deep into my soul. Man, this thing was probably disease ridden. I didn’t want to touch it.

I managed to get it inside the carrier without actually touching the creature. It was rather easy. It kinda hobbled in. I got in the car and set my GPS to the address of the Wildlife rescue. It was in Wanneroo, an area i’m quite familiar with, considering I grew up there. As the GPS guided me down some back streets I started to feel lost.

“I’ve NEVER been down this road before!” I exclaimed to myself. A bit down the same road was a park. I instantly knew where I was. Turns out I used to live on this road. How fucking stupid am I. That’s not a question but more of a statement, so don’t answer that.

I turned down a few more roads and made it to the Wildlife Rescue house. I got out of the car. The place smelled pretty bad. No worse than what I imagine Guinea Pig owners put up with, but a smell I wasn’t used to. I took the bird up to the front door. There was a small cat carrier with a note that read:

“Put bird cage, won’t long. Thanks.”

I put bird cage and decided it was a bad idea to hang around as this person won’t long. I got in the car and drove away.

My brother works nearby, so I figured I’d drop in and see if he was there. I drove up and around the now familiar area to his place of work. His car wasn’t out the front so I pulled into a parking spot nearby to send him a message. As I sat there typing, I caught the image of a shaved head walking past.

Oh shit.

It was Nathan Kelly. Long story short, he is a guy you don’t want to know. He is annoying and never shuts the fuck up. He was a regular customer at the Game store I used to work at, so I knew him. Unfortunately.

He walked right past the car and into Chicken Treat. I gave up on the message I was writing and drove the hell out of there.


I decided to take the scenic route home. Funnily enough the road was actually called Scenic Drive. Another road I used to live on. As I drove along the lake past the bushland I remembered something I saw on Reddit and thought it might be a good idea to make a pit stop and ‘have a wander’ between the bushes and dried up lake.

As soon as the though entertained me enough to seriously consider stopping, I heard a loud thud.

“THUD!” it went. That’s onomatopoeia for ya.

I looked in my rear-view mirror. I had hit a bird.


*Parts of this story have been fabricated to enhance the dramatic nature.

** Okay it was the part about hitting a bird and killing it. That didn’t really happen.

*** I thought it was funny okay!

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