This is the story about the time I spent the afternoon and night with Matt, Paul and Jacob. But I can’t just jump straight into it! I have to tell you what happened and why I saw them. Prepare yourself for the best report ever! It’s the story of…
It was in May 2018 and I was on holiday in America for the first time ever. I went to lots of places in America. Hollywood, New York (the big apple), Disneyland and many more! Most importantly though was Las Vegas. That’s where the Ice Cream Social live. That’s right. If you didn’t guess by now the Ice Cream Social is my friends Paul Matt and Jacob!
Vegas (which is what people call Las Vegas) was actually the first place I stopped at in America. It’s a big place too. Oh yeah, I forgot to say, The Ice Cream Social is a super funny internet show that the three of them (Matt and Jacob and Paul) do. And they do it like two times every week. YEP. EVERY WEEK. Anyway I’m digesting a bit from the path here. I was saying that Vegas is big. It’s so big that I couldn’t walk to meet them and had to get a ride.
I need to tell you some more stuff again first though. Even though we were all friends on the internet already we hadn’t yet actually met each other in real life yet. Back when my mum and dad were my age they didn’t have the internet to make friends. That’s because they are too old for that. You see I mention this because some people I know don’t think that me Paul and Jacob and Matt are friends. Well Shannon says that. When I told him that I was going to visit them in Vegas and do what’s called a Jock vs Nerd day together he said we aren’t actually friends. He said that because I was giving them money we weren’t real friends. He said that they are like tutors. I had a tutor for maths once that my mum paid for, but that was different. Anyway, he said they were a different kind of tutor. Prosta tutors or something like that.
You probably noticed the little thing I said called a Jock vs Nerd day. That is a day where you get to hang out with the guys and do some cool stuff. For the Jock vs Nerd day we talked about a bunch of different cool stuff we should do. There was so many cool things to choose from it was hard to decide what cool things to do.
Now that you’re all caught up a little on Vegas (no ‘Las’ needed), Jock vs Nerd a.k.a JvN and Icecream Social (ICS) I can start the story from the start. Well, not the start start because that would be when I got to America. I’m talking about the start of the JvN day. Ok! Lets go!
So me and Matt decided it was a good idea to get started in the afternoon at like around 3pm. This worked out perfectly because the time we actually all met up was the perfect time to have some food. I jumped in a Lyft, which is like a taxi but even better! It’s cheaper, less stinky and the drivers are nice and talky. This particular driver was a friendly older lady and she talked about how a drug called weeds is now legal to smoke wherever you want on the streets, how Danny Trump is stuffing up everything and, most importantly, that Vegas has the biggest convention centre in the world! Ever! The drive was interesting but she ended up dropping me off at the wrong place.
I walked the rest of the way to the meeting place which was like a whole block away. I didn’t really know where I was going, after all it was only my third day in Vegas and my first day ever Downtown. I walked past a window and saw Paul and Jacob waiving at me. The place was called Carson Kitchen. I can only assume it was once run by that famous late night talk show host. You know who I’m talking about. David Letterman of course!
I walked in and ignored the server who was asking if I had a booking and walked straight to the table where the guys were sitting. That’s what you’re meant to do when some of your party is already seated. I took a seat next to Paul, who Jacob was sitting opposite from. There was food already on the table! Talk about good service. After the greetings, Jacob gestated to the food on the table. They were called Devil’s Eggs. Not only were they boiled chicken eggs cut in half with their insides scooped out and mushed into some kind of mushy mush with devil flavouring, they also had fish eggs on top of them. EEW! I do not like fish eggs. Or anything fish. I stated how fish eggs remind me about that episode of Ren & Stimpy. “STIMPY THERE’S SOMETHING IN MY EAR!” “BLOODY HEAD FAIRY!” But that is not part of this story. When I asked what fish eggs taste like Paul said mostly just salty. I thought it was weird. I mean Why not just use salt? Oh well. Fine dining hey?
Suddenly I noticed Matt wasn’t there. Jacob said that he was going to the podcast recording studio to get some T-shirts. He also said that was a silly idea because the traffic was terrible and that “Matt should have know better.” It didn’t really matter though because Paul said we could order for him. I got a burger, Paul got a turkey burger and I think Jacob got fish. Jacob ordered a steak for Matt. I guess when you really love someone you know what they want to eat. Matt showed up and threw a shirt at me and was happy the steak was already on the table. There was also Mac and Cheese and Toast with bacon Jam. The server lady told us to put bacon jam on the Mac and Cheese. Boy was she right! After talking to the server lady a bit Paul pulled out a business card and gave it to her. “YOU’RE THE ICECREAM GUYS!” she shouted.
We also had dessert. There was a bread pudding donut thing and bourbon brownies. It was a lot of food and I think I was gonna ‘splode! But that would have been impolite. After all we had to go to the next adventure! It was a baseball game. It was decided that Paul would drive us there. Paul drives a Storm Trooper car. And he’s a very careful and safe driver. He doesn’t care if there is something important to get to. He will always drive safely and at or below the speed limit. We had plenty of time to get there so it was fine. On the way we talked about Vegas and some cool things to go and do.
We got to the baseball park and Matt rolled his eyes. Him and Jacob were waiting for us out the front. “Finally!” he said. We walked in and towards our seats that Jacob bought online. They were practically at the front! The American National Anthem started and it was kinda awkward. I just stood there. Afterwards we sat down and then Jacob came back with some beers. I’d never seen this brand before. It tasted cheap but was still good. But I’m not that big a beer master. It could be like salty fish eggs!
Matt was a little angry at Jacob because of the seats he chose. “HOW CAN WE PLAY THE YES OR NO GAME HERE!” Jacob was confused. He had forgot all about the yes or no game. Matt explained the rules of the game to him again to rub it in that we couldn’t play.
RULE 1: Pick an area where people walk by.
RULE 2: The first person playing has to say yes or no to sexing (hehehe) with the first person that walks there. If they say yes then thats the person they would sex. If they say no then they do the same with the next person. They keep going until they say yes.
RULE 3: If they don’t choose someone by the tenth person THEY HAVE TO SEX WITH THE TENTH! That means it could be a grandma. EEEEW!
RULE 4: The next person goes.
Even though we couldn’t play that game we still got to play another game called CHANGA CHANGA. It’s my favourite. Well, not better than Mario but still good. These are the rules.
RULE 1: First person puts a dollar bill in the cup. They watch the batter and if they get a make (get to base not out) then they take the dollar back and pass the cup. If the batter doesn’t get a make then the dollar stays in and they pass the cup.
RULE 2: THATS ALL THE RULES! It’s an easy game.
RULE 3: I forgot, if you win you have to shout “CHANGA CHANGA!”
This baseball game was apparently bad. The guys who throw the balls were making it hard for the batters to hit it. This meant the cup kept getting full of dollars. There were some big wins. The security guy at the fence looked confused at us and asked why we were betting on this game. Paul said that if he wanted to play all he needed was a dollar. He said no. He also didn’t have an opinion on how well Jurassic World portrayed the language of cinema.
At this baseball game it was a special baseball night called Hispanic night. That meant the teams changed there names to hispanic names. Instead of being called the 51s the vegas team was now called Reyes de Plata. Paul liked the skeleton miner guy who was their mascot for Hispanic night so he bought a blue and black hat with it on it. He looked cool. At one point Matt looked around and said loudly “I thought this was Hispanic night! Where are all the hispanics?” I nudged him and pointed to the people directly in the row in front of us who were clearly the Hispanics. That’s why the got the front.
I ALMOST FORGOT! Batdog was there! He would run up and grab the bats that the batters threw and he would take them back to the dugout. Every time he came out we shouted BATDOG!!! He didn’t respond. That’s okay though because he had a job to do. Sometimes people shout at me when I’m working as well.
All in all the baseball was pretty awesome We shouted CHARGE! a lot. Matt had a pretzel. Jacob answered all the questions about the rules of baseball and told some cool stories. Paul even talked about comic books and mentioned Inavder Zim and how there was a free comic of it for free comic book day. He also said he liked Johnny the Homicidal Maniac better. I was like “ME TOO!” and showed him my tattoo. He said it was cool and he gave me the free comic that he got! I even heard some secrtet business stuff they were talking about!
From the baseball we went to the podcast recording studio a.k.a THE CHURN. It was pretty cool and filled with different things people had sent in to put on the shelves. I also brang a fluffy Pigasus which now lives on the shelf behind Paul. During the recording the guys kept singing Hooked on a Feeling but kept changing the words. Sometimes about Uma Thurman. Oh yeah! The reigning accent champion Akshay was also there! He showed off some of his accent skills. At the end of the show the guys play a game called Jock vs Nerd and they even let me ask them Jock vs Nerd questions. I accidentally made fun of Akshay when I tried to complement him. OOPS! I’m sure Jacob was keeping score but it didn’t matter who won because everyone had a great time. Here is the Jock vs Nerd!
Matt, Paul and Jacob were great fun to hang out with and laugh with at the funny stuff they’d say. They even let me visit them again in the studio with special guest Piff the Magic Dragon. Piff is also awesome, but that’s another story altogether. If you go to Vegas you should also go see my bestest friends PAUL MATT AND JACOB!!!