Last night I watched the Xbox One reveal conference. It was late and I was kinda sleepy. Afterwards I spent about an hour on Twitter and Facebook discussing it with people. I’ve now had about 15 hours to think about it all. Well, I did sleep for a while so I had that and my dream about bats outside my sliding door being exterminated with a flamethrower to think about. I have read plenty of articles on many websites and have decided to compile my own thoughts on the hot topics. Let’s take a look:
- The Xbox One is Powered by magic. It was mentioned multiple times during the conference. It’s kinda like saying god has blessed you with the gift of music. Well, no, musicians work hard to learn their skill, just like the hardware and software developers did who worked on the new Xbox.
- The “extra box” referred to for live TV is just a set top box, cable box etc. Does this mean I can connect my PS3 (hopefully PS4) to the HDMI-in port and use Play TV. Hell, will I be able to play Playstation games through my Xbox One?
- My fingers will FINALLY vibrate when I pull the triggers.
- Apparently the Xbox One will be practically silent. I guess what this really means is they put a bad cooling system in the machine. I guess this means a repeat of the Red Ring of Death crisis.
- The technology in the new Kinect Sensor is leaps and bounds ahead of the original Kinect. With a wide-angle 1080p and full spectrum IR camera… I’m still not gonna play Kinect games.
- There is going to be a whole slew of content unavailable in Australia.
- EB games will have to do away with their 7-day returns policy on Xbox One games.
- You can’t borrow my games without borrowing my profile… Unless you pay full price. And you aren’t having access to my password…
- Even though each game needs online verification upon installation, Microsoft said I will be able to trade games in somehow. (Maybe this is where the magic comes in.)
- Microsoft Studios has 15 games in the works and over half are new IPs. This means most of the other 7 are probably Dudebro shooters I don’t care for.
- Forza 5 is a beautiful visual masterpiece that I will never play.
- There is a dog in Call of Duty: Ghosts that is an in-depth character who you will become deeply involved in and will probably love.
- I assume the dog is going to die.
- The dog still doesn’t look real.
- The Xbox One is designed to be an all-in-one box. From what I saw, this means when I say “Xbox On” it will turn on my Xbox, TV and amp, set everything to the correct inputs and launch. My TV is getting pretty old now so I doubt this will be the case.
- Being the all in one device that the Xbox One is, I will no longer have a need for my Xbox 360. You know, unless of course I wanna play any of my Xbox 360 games or play any of my Xbox Live Arcade games or indie ga… Oh wait. Never mind. I live in Australia.
- The Xbox One is probably going to be in a constant sleep/on mode. Otherwise everything won’t be instant. SCREW YOU CARBON FOOTPRINT!
- Being that at least the Kinect is going to be constantly on, I assume Microsoft is constantly watching… I will only be naked when I play games. Who knows, maybe I will play some Kinect games after all.
- My useless Gamerscore is going to be more personalised and will constantly evolve and will tell a story about how I earned my achievements. My Gamerscore will still be a useless number.
- Xzibit will love Snap mode. “Yo dawg! I heard you like to browse movies while watching movies so I went ahead and let you watch trailers to movies while you browse and watch movies.”
- Steven Spielberg is involved in making a Halo TV series for Microsoft. Hey Sony, now’s the time to announce an Uncharted TV show! Ahh, who am I kidding, if the Super Mario Brothers Super Show taught us anything about videogame TV shows…
- EA’s new sports engine looks weird to me. At first I thought it might be the uncanny valley, but then I realised that things look too fake and the animation seems cartoonish.
- 8 core CPU, 8GB system memory, 500GB HDD, Blu-ray drive, 802.11n wireless, HDMI in/out, USB 3.0. The only thing I really care about is too small. If games MUST be installed that 500GB is gonna dry up pretty fast.
- Quantum break looks pretty cool. What is it? A TV show? Actually I like the idea of this game. It’s a step forward in what Remedy wanted to do with Alan Wake.
- This thing is gonna cost me a shitload…
I Suck @ Video Games 
Great looking console……
I seam to remember owning a cassette tape storage unit that looked exactly the same. And if I recall, I was just as impressed about the getting the unit as I was today about the Xbox One announcement.
Save your money as there are a ton of awesome Wii U titles to come out this year that will actually be a “next generation” experience. All the Xbox One and PS4 have done is the same as be buying another 4GB or Ram and a new Nividia graphics card for my PC. Oh and don’t forget that stupid cloud everyone keeps talking about. I don’t want anyone stealing my shit.
You are going to hate this post, but let me start of by saying: I am dissapointed too and i am not a fanboy. I just really really hate when people draw conclusions on non existing backggrounds and that way put gasoline on the bonfire. But yeah as i said i am disapointed too and do agree with some of your findings.
So here we go:
The x-box is power by magic. Well i cant really get riled up on taht one. Its just a phrase use in the launch.
The extra box, you make a good point on that one.
Vibrating controllers, yes they are late, but however its stille better then if they had not introduced them so why not be happy about it?
Silent X-box one = shitty cooling system = red ring …. WOW slow down dude.
Yes they say its silent, so? That does not meanit has to have shitty cooling, we dont know yet, so why be so pessimistic and conclude something horrible from one fact, which by itself does not sound to bad.
The kinect part. You dont play kinect games, neither do i. However they improved it for poeple that do, and seeing how nintendo stormed a target audience that had beforhand been unavailable to the gaming industri(moms dads, grandmas etc.), I understand microsofts sentiment to make a move for those by evolving kinect.
content unavailable in australia. im from denmark , same issue, at least with indi games. however this is more of a generall issue. Netflix has the same problem, hell there are even youtube videos you cant watch if youre not from a certain part of planet earth. For netflix and so forth ip converter pages such as hidemyass do the trick however i can see how itll be a bigger issue for an x-box. I guess you are right on this one i just feel like its more of a general issue for all technologi right now.
EB games return policy. probably yes, who knows maybe microsoft will incorporate something. I understand it can be an issue if you used the policy they had, but i wouldnt know, i never used it.
The borrowing issue. Well i dont know how i feel about this, because i want to get really angry about this and agree with you, because it sucks. However the more i think about it i havent borrowed a game to or from anyone in 4 years or so. And i game a lot, so do my friends. I guess i buy games i wanna play. but again that is my perosnal opinion and therefor not an valid argument
Microsoft say we will be able to trade somehow. Well lets see what they come up with, maybe it is shit, maybe it is genius. Maybe it will even feel like magic probably wont tho. But again why be pessimistic if we dont know.
15 games 7 shooters. Well thats just random guessing now, yes some of them will probably be shooters, and yes the number of shooters will probably match the requirements of the general gaming audience. shooters are just popular an they will piss of more people by not putting them out there then by doing it.
However these 15 titles are the immediate release title as i am to understand. What makes you think you will even have time to play more than 3 or 4 of these through before new titles stat getting launched? Just wait and se what titles will be introduced and then bitch about them if theyre shit 🙂
Forza 5 is a beautiful masterpiece that you and i will never play. Yup. Maybe other games that i do wanna play will be beautifull masterpieces too. makes me hope.
Ther is a dog that we will fall in love with. I only play the single player once so that love wont last
itll probably die. Yup probably will, but we have seen more tradig deaths through gaming history havent we?
the dog doesnt look real. well the picture you are showing is from the cgi stage of the dog from the release video as far as i can tell. its not a very dynamic scene and not necessarily the final stage. but yes the dog in the picture looks stupid.
The x box as an all-in-one-box i dont have the old tv issue but i understand your sentiment. also i was thinking x-box on is a lot like x-box one so when you talk about it in your livingroom it might turn on :S
yeah i had the whole indi game issue further up
The whole instant issue. I think your spot on on this one. however it does not worry me. sleep mode is fine with me i waste energy like crazy anyways.
kinect constantly on. ill give you that its weird.however if it freaked me out, which it wont, id put something in front of it and be done with it.
useless gamerscore: this debate has always bothered me. Why is this gamerscore more useless that the million achiements you get in games, which people farm like they where freshwater suplies in a dessert?
What do people expect? dollarbills out of the poweroutlet?
It just something to show off like everything else in gaming.
Xzibit. I do like xzibit jokes.
The issue is no problem for me i dont watch movies on my x-box
Halo tv show.
Yes most gaming related movies/shows suck….big time
But lets look at the positive here.. steven spielberg is a renowed director who has made amny good movies. sadly lately he has only made shit so the odds are not good. but there is a chance. and if it sucks, well im buying consoles for gaming not for halo tv series 🙂
EA sports series engine. Spot on! Way to cartoony
Small harddisk. Yes! YES INDEED! very big issue right here!
quantum break. must have missed this somehow. i have no idea about this.
its gonna cost a shitload. Yes it is. so is the ps4. So is the computer that is going to be able to run the games flawless especially the later ones.
so is every piece of technolgy thats is not garbage. And especially if you must have it on release, if you can just wait, say a year youl save so much money.
well there it is, as i said i agreed with you on some thing and disagreed on others. All in all im also disappointed by the release. But i have been disappointed before by releases and then when the product came it was still awesome. I for one am not gonne start giving up now lets see what happens now that microsoft have put them selves out there for criticism. maybe some things will still change. maybe not. then there is stille gonne be the ps4 alternative. and if that doesnt suit you building you own pc only you and your budget set the limit.
sorry for spelling and typos btw. its late where i am and i cant be bothered to proofread this shit 😀
Hey, thanks for the comments. I know it mostly sounds negative but it really is just tongue in cheek. I am definitely gonna get an Xbox One regardless. I just try to make my website funny while adding bits of reality.
Cheers 🙂
I do get it and it’s great.
Definitely funny, and definitely accurate…. at least from a consumer interest point of view. Since all coverage focuses on what the box will supposedly do, kudos on being able to connect the dots with a realistic approach to the outlandish claims and features that nobody is asking for.
Maybe in two years when Microsoft squeezes a library of games out, fixes launch bugs, and bundles an affordable box in a Christmas Discount deal, I’ll purchase.
In the meantime, a $300 investment lands me a graphics card that rejuvenates a decade-old [still strong] PC. Plus I own the carts of games that they’re re-releasing on consoles/handhelds anyways, so no disappointing sequels can keep me down.
Weird that the focus seems to be drifting away from what a Console was designed to do in the first place: which is to play games?
Good Article!
(Sorry you live Down Under. Game availability seems a fair trade-off for less mass-shootings, though.)
Thanks for the comment 😀
Getting games in Aus isn’t as bad as it was a few generations ago, where we had to wait months sometimes for a local release.
Indie Games was what i was referring to. Due to our classifications system they can’t be released without being given a rating, unlike in the US where they can be self published.
I doubt I will be able to get an Xbox One at launch. Like you said it might have to wait for a Christmas bundle discount.
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