Arkham City: It’s Hard Out There For a Bat

No joke. I hate ths game.

I bought Arkham City because I had watched Drave play Arkham Asylum and thought it looked really cool. When Black Friday rolled around, I used a variety of coupons and deals to get the game for somewhere in the vicinity of $3. Last night, I sold it on eBay for $30. Of course, I had started playing it only three days earlier. Completion percentage? Around 4%. So why is it gone so fast? Continue reading

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One-Hit Wonders: A New Breed of Games

The greatest one-hit wonder of all time; it was the one hit for two bands!

Try Doodle Jump, they told me. And for 99 cents, I was on board. Why not? How much could I lose? A dollar? So I downloaded the game, figured out how to play, marveled at the cool art style, and then missed a platform. Game over. Wait. What? Continue reading

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Scribblenauts: An Exercise in Frustrating Genius

Playing this game is like standing on a sinking ship.

Playing this game is like standing on a sinking ship.

“Write anything, solve everything” states the advertising for Scribblenauts, the much hyped puzzle game for Nintendo DS that came out last week.  I’ve been obsessed with the concept of this game since the moment I heard about it.  In Scribblenauts, you’re presented with a puzzle.  In order to solve the puzzle, you need things.  To create things, you simply write down anything you can think of.

That seems simple, right?  Continue reading

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Touching on iPhone Gaming

Wait, I play this how?

Wait, I play this how?

Yesterday, Apple gave one of their big deal press conferences where they announce new products and software.  This was known to be an iPod event, and it was promoted using the tagline, “It’s only rock n’ roll, but we like it.”  So what did they spend nearly half of the time promoting?  Games.  Yes, they promoted games for the iPod Touch and the iPhone, bringing up people from Gameloft and Ubisoft to demo upcoming titles.  But here’s something they won’t tell you:  gaming on the iPhone sucks. Continue reading

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Why I’m Becoming a DS Pirate

When I went to Japan last year and asked the girl working at the hostel to help me translate the menu screens of my newly purchased Japanese version of Tetris DS, she asked “why did you buy the Japanese version?” I explained that this was no longer available in the U.S., and Tetris is the same in any language.

“You should just get an R4,” she told me.

I’ve never been secretive about the fact that I download music like crazy. All I do these days is illegal downloading and buying vinyl. There’s hardly any CDs in my present, and even fewer in my future. That said, I’ve always been anti-pirating when it comes to videogames. It’s always seemed like too much work? I’ve always felt dirty about it for some reason? I can’t explain why this is so, but I’ve never pirated a game before.

Until now.

And here’s why.

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Puzzle Quest: Galactrix

To start this review, I’m going to quote my review of the original Puzzle Quest game for DS:

Puzzle Quest: This one had me seeing circles for weeks! This is an RPG, but instead of fighting with swords, you fight with Bejeweled. Brilliant! The story is so bad, I was just begging for opportunities to skip past it, but the actual battles were puzzlerific! And the system to get new spells and character upgrades was fantastic. I beat this game, collected all the spells, captured all the monsters, and realized I would never play it again. So to eBay it went. But before then, I had a great time with it.

So if you read that last sentence, it says I had a great time with it before it went on eBay. Puzzle Quest Galactrix is going on eBay before having a great time with it. There’s no great time to be had here.

This game moves along so incredibly slowly. To get from one puzzle to the next takes 2-3 minutes. There’s a load time (a load time on a DS game!), the autosave, the incredibly poor navigation system, and the crap story. This is just miserable.

Then there’s the gameplay itself which is really clunky. There’s a mode where you race against time, and you have to wait for a couple of seconds after your previous move to make your next move. And the puzzle pieces break so slowly, which also counts against your time. If you’re in a battle, and you make a mistake, you lose your turn. At one point, I was trying to move a piece in the middle of my screen, and the game had some sort of bug that always made me choose a piece that was far away from where I was pointing. Finally, I chose a different piece and it moved the right one. Was this thing playtested?

I just hate this game. I hate playing it. I hate the look of it, the feel of it, and the speed of it. I am never playing this thing again.

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Filed under Puzzle Games

I’ve been listening to this album a lot.

Wordle: Titus Andronicus

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Filed under Music